Sex Talks

My writing career is taking some exciting baby steps forward, and in the world of a writer that exciting baby step comes in the form of "general meetings."  Here in L.A. we just call them "generals" because why say a whole extra word, especially if that extra word lets outsiders into the secret of what we mean by "generals." General meetings are meetings with no real agenda. You could call them "vagues" or "exploratories" but those two words offer almost too much meaning. I think of that as informational interviews and/or first dates.  The goal of a general is to introduce the "talent" (writer, director, etc.) to the "community." The "community" is the various producers, network heads, development executives, etc. who might eventually offer the talent "work." "Work" refers to lots of different things that we'll have to get into some other time (when I've figure out what they are)...

One of my very best friends just gave birth to the very first baby among my set of very best friends. Her name is Zadie Patricia, and she is perfect. I know people say that about all babies, but they're wrong. This baby is the most perfect baby of them all, and that's a fact. After Zadie was born I got to thinking about dating advice for babies. Not, as in, how they should go about dating other babies. That is a hysterical, but mostly gross thought. I mean, if I could whisper little pieces of advice into baby Zadie's ears now to prevent her from heartbreak and wasted time later, what would I say? They say dating habits are learned very early on, and that the confidence to date the right people is something you start developing at birth, so why not "Einstein baby" in a little practical advice to prevent some tear-stained diary pages later on? Here is what I have for baby Zadie so far: If it's between the class "bad boy" and the class "clown"...

A road trip is not just an affordable way to get from point A to point B while seeing various sights. It's also a way to test the limits of your relationship inside a confined space while eating trail mix and listening to podcasts. R and I recently took the famously (and actually) awesome Route 1 up the California coast to our friends' wedding outside San Francisco. We survived despite major mechanical issues and my inability to take sharp curves over 5 mph! Here is my advice following our total of 21 hours on the road (yes, it should take 12, tops). Leave L.A. around 6pm on a Thursday If you live here then you know that Thursday is the worst traffic day of the week for reasons completely unknown to the entire population of L.A. and that 6pm is the worst hour of that worst day of traffic. Leaving at 6am on a Friday is the easy way out! 6pm on a Thursday, however, gives you the chance to really test that patience with and hour and a half of "slow-and-go" getting on th...

I know I'm supposed to be writing my super important script all week, but I'm taking a break from that to share an important story slash message. A few days ago I received an e-mail from a reader wondering whether or not to move on from a relationship. The details of her situation will of course remain private, but she mentioned something that made me wonder how many other people feel just like she feels. The sentiment was (paraphrased)  - "But I've been with him for X years...we've built so much...it seems foolish to throw it all away." What came before the "But.." was, (paraphrased) "I'm unhappy...I'm not sure we're compatible...we've broken up several times."  I'm going to use stern words right now, but just pretend I'm saying then like a loving older sister and not some bitchy, know-it-all 2nd cousin. Three years is absolutely nothing. It's nothing in the grand scheme of life.  It's nothing as a TV show r...

Hey friends - I'm taking a break from formal posts this week to crank on a feature I'm writing, but in my absence I leave you with this GEM of a website from some geniuses who appear to be male. It's as simple as the graphic suggests. You post his text, and the "bros" at HeTexted.com reply with the meaning. Why it's taken this long for the Internet to make this happen is beyond me, but I'm glad they decided to release it in fuchsia now that it exists. Really pops! In general I support this for purposes of comedy, but I do warn that one of the "bros"is named Mason, and his picture features him in sunglasses and a blazer, and the other is Ben who appears to be 15 years old. Also, instead of posting actual responses to your questions of "what does it all mean??" they just feature buttons that I assume other bros reading the website push in support of he's into you , he's not into you , or verdict is still out . We all know a text ...

When I used to tell people that I had never been to Las Vegas they would say, "how could you of all people have never been to Vegas??" I used to be offended by this statement, but after my very first 30 hour trip to the City of Sin, I am honored. VEGAS IS AWESOME. It's opulent but cheesy. It's relaxing but completely frenetic. You can win a thousand bucks in a minute or lose 5K just about as fast. I loved it. Granted I was there for one night with R, and three hours of that time was spent in a spa, but that's cool because you can do whatever you want in Vegas! Here, in no particular order and remembered through the haze of one too many vodka/soda/pineapple juices, is what I learned: YOU DON'T WANT TO STAY IN A HOTEL THAT HAS A CASINO I didn't previously know that there were hotels that did NOT have casinos, but there are, and they are the way to go. R and I stayed at Vdara, which is directly across the street from Aria, a massive hotel with a massive cas...

Two years ago today R told me to be his girlfriend. It happened some time between 11pm and 1am on the night of my L.A. housewarming party. R claims that I was introducing him to everyone as, "the guy I'm dating," and he wasn't having that. He said something like, "Enough of this. We're either together or we're not." I said something like, "I know...but it's complicated...and I just moved here...and I'm a jaded New Yorker, and..." and he said, "It's not that complicated. Let's do this,"  and so we did. It is the best decision I've ever been told to make. We now share a one bedroom apartment, herb garden watering duties, and a jar where we keep the $5 bills we save for vacations - so in other words, a life. I've thought a lot about what makes a relationship work over the past two years that we've been together. I like to think we have a very healthy thing going. We don't fight. We don't keep secr...