Sex Talks

Nellie and I were talking about turning 30 as we finished up a delightful dinner with girlfriends last night. I can't remember exactly how the conversation went because I have one just like it twice a week these days (though, no convo tops a Nellie convo), but I remember it turned to the idea of following your dreams. Nellie is an actress - among so many other things - and I am finally (according to my 2012 taxes!!!) a writer.  We were both talking about how long we've followed our two specific dreams, and how engrained that idea of "following a dream" was in our upbringing. This was a lucky thing - no - a blessed thing, we agreed. There are kids without the means, guidance or support to follow a dream. There are adults in that same boat. "But what happens if you realize your dream isn't your dream anymore?" Nellie said. She was speaking mostly figuratively. Nellie, more so than almost anyone I know, has maintained a steady focus on her acting while stil...

I'm well aware of the fact that I like to be in command of my own life. I also know that I really enjoy the busy, independent, social lifestyle that I lead. What I did not quite realize, however, is that I am selfish. I think I'm selfish with a lowercase "s," but I'm selfish none the less. Big S selfish people are jerks who don't give a damn about anything but themselves, I've decided. Little s selfish people (I've also decided) are wary of taking on anything that might alter the very specific lives they lead like, say, a lot of volunteer work or a tricky relationship or...a dog named Elliott. When R and I first started talking about getting a dog I thought I was nervous about raising an animal. I grew up with a dog, but I didn't have to take care of her very much. She was very self-sufficient, much like an additional, much harrier little sister. It wasn't until one very specific dog came into play (ELLIOTT) that I realized I'm not afraid ...

This post is late because I couldn't decide whether or not to write it. I had originally planned to write about the fact that R and I are preparing to adopt a puppy. It was going to be a super funny piece on how two people agree on what the animal they intend to share the next 12-16 years with should look like (spoiler alert: they don't), but I couldn't stop reading and thinking about the Steubenville rape case. I didn't want to write about it because I didn't want to be just another non-lawyer, non-detective, non-psychologist, non rape victim weighing in on an issue that even those people are struggling to evaluate. Then I realized that not talking about the Steubenville rape case is the last thing anyone involved or uninvolved need. So, here I am with what may be a rather unorthodox way to understand what happened, and even more importantly, to understand how the nation reacted. The very first thing that popped into my head when I heard about the divisive respons...

Read 'em and weep ladies. More to come! 10. Listen, I need you to buy me tampons at the grocery store. Just grab the first multi-pack you see and get the hell out of there. 9. Bottom line: we can't make any new friends until after the wedding invites go out.  8. I'm sorry, did you just say you got pregnant on the VERY FIRST TIME TRYING?! 7. The rules of this wedding dress shopping session are simple. If I love it, you love it. 6. I don't want to have sex tonight, and I don't have a reason. 5. Right, but can you describe to me exactly how it will feel approximately 30 seconds before my water breaks? 4. Thank you for this offer. Given my experience level and past performances, I'd like to see if your company can come up 10K on the base starting salary. 3. Of course I'd love a little girl, but I'll just be happy if the baby is healthy. 2. You don't have to go through with this wedding. We'll get you out of here and handle telling everyone.  1. Oh...

R's good friend invited us to a concert last night. The day was Monday. The show didn't start until 9:45, which really means 10:00 because nothing cool ever actually starts on time. The venue is about fifteen minutes from our house, so not far but not so close that we can't not go. We've seen the band before, but they're fantastic, as is this friend, so we'd both definitely enjoy seeing them again. We already had food for dinner, plus I now work from the room directly connected to the kitchen, so finding time to both eat and attend this concert wouldn't be a problem, especially since it starts at 9:45/10. We had a really busy weekend, but we technically got plenty of sleep, so it's not like we need to make up for lost time by going to bed at 8:30 tonight (note: that's a joke. We've never actually gone to bed at 8:30, but not out of lack of desire). In other words, we should go to this concert. It would be really fun. We'll catch up with peo...

Guess what you guys? An Ironic, Low-Key, Unconventional Wedding Is Still a Wedding So if you thought you were going to exch ange your vows at yo ur favorite In-N-Out with frie rings and ca ll it a "friendship for li fe" ceremony, you're wrong. The Atlantic just said so .  Here's a mini recap of this long article abo ut the fact that there are " women who do want in on the institution [of marriage ] , but who find this somehow embarrassing." The market for discreet nuptial rings points to a wave of ambivalence operating counter to bridezilladom , the phenomenon of brides-to-be obsessing over every detail of what they view as the biggest day of their lives. It is just one sign of a discomfort on the part of certain women who have heteronormative desires (an opposite-sex partner, a document acknowledging the relationship, a dress...) with what these desires say about them.   Read: Some girls want to get married without all the David Tutera treatment. ...

  (Don't let this AMAZING O'Reilly clip confuse you. This is a very serious post.)  This is a public service post. On Sunday I witnessed something truly remarkable, and I witnessed it live. It was a story told by the actress/host/storyteller/comedienne/teacher Suzanne Whang about finally finding the love of her life at age 50. It was the most romantic thing I have ever heard outside of a scripted movie, and it ended with a surprise so big that I burst into tears. I am, for once, not exaggerating. One friend in the room said, "that was the most insane thing I've ever seen on a Los Angeles stage," and from the looks on many other people's tear-splattered faces, they agreed. Suzanne told her story at this month's SUNDAY NIGHT SEX TALKS , but this is not a plug for my show (sorry, but I couldn't not include a hyperlink). This is a plug for experiencing something live. I was kicking myself as Suzanne told her story because we don't tape or record Sun...