Sex Talks

  I realized recently that I've written six years of blog posts without one "tribute" to the two people who gave me the ability to write in the first place (in that they gave me life, which gave me hands, but also in the general parental support and guidance way). But I didn't want to write some generic, mushy account of what my parents mean to me. It's too much to cover in a generic, mushy account, and trust me, I know my way around accounts of that nature. So instead I got to thinking about the specific moments that best explain who my parents are - both as people and as parents - and how it's made me the kind of person I am today - a woman one week away from her 30th birthday (you didn't think I'd make it through this whole post without mentioning that fact, did you?). I thought about our annual drives down to Florida when Mom would deliver my sisters and me the hand-made activity books she'd slaved over for hours (we're talking an entire ma...

Guys - I've been powering through the list over the past few weeks, and I'm proud to say that progress has been made! Here's the latest.   Stay up all night partying This has yet to happen and probably will not, BUT Saturday is literally my last chance, so I'm going to give it everything I've got. I technically have nine nights remaining, but I can't possibly stay up all night during the work week, and I have Saturday night plans meaning Friday is completely out. So between now and Saturday I will determine which LA bars are open all night and decide whether or not it counts if I take a four hour nap from 6-10PM. So far I'm leaning toward, it doesn't? Go out to dinner wearing a midriff top Not only am I going to eat a meal in public while showcasing a sliver of stomach skin, but I'm probably going to do it on the same night that I attempt to stay up all night. Can the universe handle this? Probably. Can I? Probably no.   Make sushi R surprised me wi...

I technically can�t write a final word on a topic I have yet to cover with one word, but it felt crazy to go through six years of writing about my 20s without discussing one of the things I thought about most of the course of those six years: my body. I feel like I owe it, to both every woman who has ever existed and myself, to explain my feelings about body image based on the image I have of my own body. I�m sorry. I should have included �every man� in that sentence too. Men are not void of body image issues, at all. I�ve read plenty of articles about having a healthy body image, loving your flaws, understanding what an average body looks like, and even instilling body confidence in today�s youth. But I can�t remember reading an article that actually explains what goes through a person�s brain when they think about their own body. So I�m going to try to write that piece right now. I think it might be therapeutic for me, and hopefully helpful for you. It will probab...

Yesterday Forbes came out with the 2013 30-Under-30 List , and I wasn't on it - again. This time, though, it stung a little. This year was my final chance to make this seemingly arbitrary list created by an unknown committee of people. I've never going to be a 30-Under-30 - ever. No, it's never been a goal of mine. No, I don't believe there's any cash prize involved. Fine, I didn't even know it was published until this morning. But that doesn't make it any easier to swallow guys. One day of Internet fame and a cocktail party has passed me by, forever. It's crazy because I actually know someone who is very high up at Forbes, and yet there's still no love for me and my various, mostly underground, 100% non profit endeavors. I mean, what does it take to be among the top 30 people under 30 years old doing anything and everything that matters in the entire universe these days?! Alas, the answer appears to be more that I have done. Though in fairness, the ...

This image is in no way relevant, it just cracked me up The series continues as the clock counts further down... Today: dating. There was a time when this entire blog was centered on the topic of how to get dates, how to keep dating once you gotten a live one, and how to continue that dating pattern into a legitimate relationship. It wasn't until I actually completed that string of goals without following any of the advice I'd ever given anyone else that I decided to stop writing about dating quite so much. That said, I have some "bottom line" style opinions on the matter, and here they are. If you're not sure whether or not you're dating someone, ask them. If you're afraid that asking them will ruin your chance of actually dating them, you're right - it will.  There will come a time when you have to decide whether it's better to be lonely inside a relationship or outside a relationship. In other words - would you rather have a bad boyfriend for ...

Tip #1: Stare Deeply Into The Eyes of Your Fiance At All Times Getting engaged is by far one of the most exciting things that's ever happened to me, and I once tap danced with Savion Glover on the set of Sesame Street alongside Phylicia Rashad 's son. But being engaged is by far one of the weirdest experienced of my life - to date. I can only assume growing a human inside my stomach will be weirder, but I feel like I somehow have more experience with that on account of how many times I've been so stuffed with food I feel like I'm carrying a full term child. Here are the top ten things among the dozens of things that are incredibly weird about being engaged: 1. The ring I don't really know how to handle this incredibly precious thing that I now wear on my hand - the body part that does the most slamming into things (aside from the foot, but walking can't really be counted, so the hand takes it). Can it go in the shower? Can it go in the pool? Should it wash di...

I have a million tiny regrets from my 20s. Things like I wish I'd run a 5K and I wish I'd ever wanted to run a 5K for more than a second. Then there's things like I kinda wish I kissed that one super handsome filmmaker from Australia and I wish I hadn't kissed that one super rude banker from Long Island . And of course I wish I'd traveled to Europe at least once while I was living in New York but of course I wish I'd ever had enough money to travel to Europe at least once while I was living in New York.  None of those things really matter in the grand scheme of things - even 20-something things - so those aren't what if's that I legitimately count. The one regret I legitimately count is not investing in a retirement savings plan. Sorry. You were probably hoping for something involving a tattoo and/or late-night romp with a celebrity. I've thought about writing this post a lot these past few months. My finances are something I'm typically very...

*Not a real book... yet . I've decided to use up some of my remaining post space to soap box on the biggest issues facing 20-somethings today... after excessive college debt, rampant unemployment, and the astronomical cost of independent health insurance... Hooking up - the catch-all term to signify intimacy of any kind, outside of a relationship. You don't "hook up" once you're inside a relationship. I don't exactly know what you call the canoodling you do once you're in an actual relationship, other than not canoodling. I just know that it's called "hooking up" if you're doing it with someone that you absolutely do not call your boyfriend or girlfriend. Here are my final, hopefully clear, mostly non-judgmental thoughts on the way the modern world has come to relate sexually. If you are hooking up because you want to hook-up, have at it. Your body is your temple. I hope that you are safe, respectful and mostly mature about it, but beyo...

It's been approximately one week since my (self-imposed and totally ridiculous) challenge was set (by myself). Here's where I'm at, because I know you've been staying up all night wondering.   Stay up all night partying On Sunday night/Monday morning I went to sleep at 1AM. It was really, really rough and I felt miserable the next day even though I was completely sober. Awesome.  Go out to dinner wearing a midriff top I almost packed the midriff top I bought for this very purpose on a recent mini trip to San Diego, but then I chickened out because I knew we'd be going to a gastro pub, and midriff tops do not bode well in an environment where bacon is included on every food item.  Make sushi No dice, but I have determined the day that I will attempt to make sushi, and I made myself an iCal reminder, so there's a 50% chance it will actually happen.  Go blonder on the bottom of my hair "Two years ago I jumped on the ombra hair highlights trend (which was at ...

If you asked me, "How long can you wait to have a baby?" before I read this Atlantic article , I would have said, "It gets really dangerous to try having children after around 34." My answer would have been based on random headlines I've seen or studies I've skimmed. It also would have been rooted in the almighty, "things I've heard lots of people say," source. In other words, it would not have been an educated answer. If you asked me, "How much anxiety do you have around waiting to have children?" before I read this Atlantic article, I would have said, "SO MUCH ANXIETY." I want to have biological children. I would ideally like to have more than one. And yes, I know that I am not yet ready to start having those children. I cannot say when I'll be ready. There may come a time when my desire to have kids outweighs my fear of being financially and emotionally ready to have them (people say that happens), but right now, I a...

A former colleague of mine recently got engaged. She and her new fiance are both 30-somethings who dated consistently throughout their 20s and early 30s. They met about one year ago, fell instantly in love, and got engaged 11 months later. To me, the somewhat short courtship (there are certainly shorter) made perfect sense. They are confident in their relationship and very ready to start a family, so why wait? But it made me wonder if they would have felt differently were they not both 30-somethings. If they met at 25, would they have been engaged within a year? What about 28? 30? 32? Is there a correlation between age and time spent together pre-engagement? My anecdotal stats say yes. My friends who got married around 25, 26, and 27 were together for 3-5 years before making it official. As I've gotten older, that number has gotten smaller. So if that's a fact then the more interesting question becomes why? Obvious answer number 1 is biological clock. Fact: if you want to have ...

Today is the first day of July, and July is the month directly before my birthday month, August, and this August I'll be celebrating my 30th birthday (in case you missed the barrage of posts about it), meaning today marks one month before the end of my 20s. It's cool. I'm not feeling completely and totally over-dramatic about it or anything. I don't, like, want to make some kind of dumb bucket list of things to accomplish in the final month before the end of an incredible decade of my life. That would be ridiculous...and setting myself up for even more drama...and probably end up costing me a ton of unnecessary money... Things I'd Like To Do Before I Turn 30 (When have I ever been able to help myself?)   Stay up all night partying Miserable as this sounds (even though it was my idea), I feel the need to ring out the decade of oats sowing with one final all-night fest. This will bring my all-nighters total to four: one college paper cram session, one pre-college g...