My Review of Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred

Note: I am not in any way affiliated with Jillian Michaels, nor have I been paid to write this post. I am just a good Samaritan who didn't have anything else to write about today.

I don't like to exercise because it is hard, and I hate the way my hair looks when I sweat. That said, I recently picked up my very dusty Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred DVD because I really want to get back into doing ballet, but I'm not in good enough shape to start. Yes, this is the exercise equivalent of cleaning your house before the maid comes, but we all do that too, so whatever.

My history with and knowledge of how to properly exercise is limited. Literally, if I could find my Mom's old VHS of the Jane Fonda work-out and transfer it to DVD, I'd do that for the rest of my life. Actually, forget the transfer. I'd buy a VHS player for that. But, alas, Jane is stuck in the '90s and Billy Blanks' Tae Bo system is too expensive. So, "TV's toughest trainer" is it.

I selected Jillian's "fool proof 3-2-1 training system" because of its advertised foolproof nature, and because I hoped the 3-2-and-1 had something to do with the amount of minutes we would be exercising. I was 50% correct. You do three minutes of strength, two minutes of cardio, and one minute of abs, but a semi-coordinated, college educated 29.5-year-old can mess up every single move. 

Here is what I hate about Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred:

•  Jillian Michaels - if she tells me that "I don't get to do a 20 minute work out and a take a break" one more time, I'm going to take several more breaks. Also, I find it very annoying that she says, "you're well on your way to being shredded" at the end of every video. I mean, that is my goal, but who wrote that line?!

• Natalie, her "best girl" - Natalie is a bitch. I can tell because she smiles the whole time she's doing her exercises, and that's extra annoying because Jillian makes her do the advanced versions. It also bothers me that Natalie exercises with her hair down. Who does that? Ridiculous.

• The fact that we have to do arms and legs together - Jillian says that this is the key to the entire system, but I'm not sure I buy it. I feel like I could concentrate better on doing good arm moves if I wasn't trying to squat, lunge or jump at the same time. Part of the problem might be that I'm using 5lb weight instead of 3lb weights like Jillian and her best girls, but I thought that would lead to faster results. Instead it just leads to me putting down the 5 pounders and using two Poland Spring bottles instead. Those are 3lbs each, right?

• The amount of jumping jacks included - Jumping jacks are awful. They're loud, and they hurt very strange parts of your body, and if your boyfriend walks in on you doing them half-assed, he will make fun of you. 

But, here is what I love about Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred:

•  It's only 20 minutes a day, and even I can suffer through that. On average I now complete approximately 17 of the 20 minutes, which is a huge improvement. 

• It's only for 30 days. I'm only at day 12, so I can't tell if I'm going to be "shredded" on day 30 like Jillian promises, but I don't know why she would lie to me, so it will probably happen. 

• It includes three different levels. You're supposed to do each level for 10 days, progressing in level as you go. I like this because I enjoy completing projects, so I think of each level like a project I must complete. Also, the higher the level the more Jillian compliments you when you finish, so that's nice.

• It doesn't include enough abs (in my opinion), so I do extra abs (take THAT Natalie) because I firmly believe that lean abs distract from the rest of the body (not true at all). And whenever I do anything beyond the trained fitness professionals fool-proof DVD, I feel extremely fit. 

Despite the fact that I spend my 15 minutes of alarm snooze time try to come up with an excuse to not do my Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred DVD's every single day, I really do love them. They allow me to believe I'm shredding my body one shorter-than-a-sitcom increment at a time from the comfort of my own living room. Plus every day that I complete the work-out, I allow myself a Girl Scout cookie. Don't worry, I bought enough to make it through the 30 days. After that, I'm switching to Julianne Hough's dancing work outs because why the hell would I lift weights and do jumping jacks when I can just Flashdance my way to fitness?