The Final Word On: Everything Else


We've covered hooking up, dating, and body image in these last posts before the very end. Now here is everything else that I have to say about essentially everything else that matters - emphasis on "essentially."

  • The five items every woman should have in her closet are: a perfect black blazer, a hot red dress, jeans that still feel great after a giant meal, an over-sized white t-shirt that can be dressed up to look "formal", and a completely ridiculous pair of shoes. 
  • My favorite book is The Secret Garden and my favorite movie is Hook. I don't care that both of those works were created for kids under the age of 10. 
  • If you absolutely detest getting your hoo-ha Brazilian waxed every four weeks, stop. The world will still go 'round, as will your relationship. 
  • I would be more inclined to stay with a person who cheated on me by having random sex once than to stay with a person who developed an emotional relationship with another woman. 
  • If I wasn't a writer and I had an amazing voice, I would be a rock star. If I wasn't a writer and I had my current voice I would be a professional closet organizer. 
  • Last meal: a glass of my favorite red wine, a shoft-shelled crab as prepared by my Mommom, fried zucchini flowers as prepared by my Poppop, an entire avocado, and the butterscotch pudding from Jar in Los Angeles. 
  • I don't think there's a proper amount of time you should be together before you get engaged, but I now think there's a proper amount of time you should be engaged before you get married and that is three days. One to attempt plan a wedding, one to decide that is a futile task slash shop for a hot little white dress, and one more for a small group of your loved ones to get to Vegas ;)
  • Yes, I do think Hillary is going to run in 2016.
  • I have said "I love you" to exactly three men in my life (five if you're counting my Dad and my Poppop). One I am going to marry and the other two are going to be there that day.
  • I don't believe that leggings are pants, and I will not be convinced otherwise. 
  • New York City is the greatest city on earth followed by Florence, Italy. Los Angeles is my favorite place in the world to live, so far. I cannot believe I just admitted that, and I desperately hope it doesn't destroy my Manhattan karma - ugh that's such an L.A. thing to say!
  • The best Michael Jackson song is "Billie Jean" followed closely by "The Way You Make Me Feel." 
  • I don't believe in soul mates or even really the construct of modern marriage, and yet I firmly believe that R is the absolutely right person in the world for me and that we will be married for the rest of our lives.  
  • If I could steal anyone in Hollywood's face and clothing it would be Rachel Bilson. I would have taken her entire life but then Hart of Dixie happened, so...
  • Cheese, duh. If you know to what this "either or" refers, great. If you don't, don't worry about it.
  • The funniest joke I've heard in recent history is this - Q: What does a nosey pepper do? A: Get jalapeno business!
  • I don't think smoking pot is a deterrent to a healthy, stable adult life, unless it becomes a deterrent to a healthy, stable adult life. 
  • Apple, Pepsi, Pizza Hut, Miller Lite, and #TeamAniston (but only because I don't think Angelina Jolie is a real person). 
  • And finally: I do not in any way believe that 30 is the new 20. A. is just isn't and B. even if it was, I wouldn't want it to be. I'd gladly explain why in a TED TALK, but this woman Meg Jay already did. Much more on that next week...

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